go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
