dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
