did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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