He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize