She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
