Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
