So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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