Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
