whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
