so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
