Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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