Someone shit on the floor
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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