Someone shit on the floor
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
