So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
