Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
