so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
