i just identified you from a description of your pipe
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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