Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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