Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
