Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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