I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
