Soap is not a condiment
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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