i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
