We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
