Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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