There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize