It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
