This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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