He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
