so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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