And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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