Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
