Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Randomize
