Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize