There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
