Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
