Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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