thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
