Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
