I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
