Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
