Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
