What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He passed out mid-signature
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Randomize