WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
