He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
