The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
