First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
