I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
