I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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