; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
