we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize