The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
