you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
