please come you make the beer taste better
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
