I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
