you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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