Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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