If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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