Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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