i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
