I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
