Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
