Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
ugly people sure do ruin things
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Randomize
